Sunday, March 14, 2010

Not the One Year Post I was expecting

One year ago today I wrote my first post on this blog. I was much happier and more optimistic last year. I was about to go to the second of two conferences and get a job. I was about to graduate. Everything was going to be great.

I didn't get a job. I had several posts where I muttered about the amount I paid to go and the fact that there were no jobs. Then I got the flu and missed out on the rest of that conference. I'm still paying my credit card bill for that week.

I'm now filling out applications I could have filled out last year, but did not because I thought I wouldn't need to. I had my plan, which was rejected by my parents. My just talked with my brother and he gave me a bit of an inspirational speech about following your dreams. He said that the first step is scary, but it's worth it in the end. My parents wouldn't let me take that step. I've always thought that if I was to win an award, I would not thank my parents.

My parents aren't the type of parents that cause their children to win awards. They are the definition of parents. They will love us, no matter what, even if they can't say it, even if they can't look at us right now, they love us. Too many people, don't get that, and I am thankful for that, but to make your child win an award you need to do more than that. For them to be thanked, they need to be someone that steadies you as you get closer. They need to be the people who tell you that you can do anything you set your mind to and they have to make sacrifices, just as you do to, to help you get that award.

Child actors in film need to have a parent present for everything they do. Every filming, screening, photo shoot, the parent needs to be there to make sure that the child is being properly cared for. My parents would not do that. They did convince my elementary school that I wasn't retarded, but looking back on that, even they admit that being in that school wasn't the best place for me. They could have done more - it would have been a stretch, but they could have done more.

My parents never suggested that I learn an instrument. They never encouraged me to take up karate. They never made me do swim team. They never taught me to ride a bike (one of my brothers taught himself - they said that we didn't want to be taught and that we would "yell at them").

I know that my plan was missing a little something, but sometimes you really need to fuck up to figure yourself out. Look up the wikipedia entry for People Born in 1987. These people are my age and most of them, if not all had parents who went above and beyond the call of parenthood. You can't wake up one day and become an Olympian, or a good actor, or a famous musician, you only get the chance if your parents believe in you and are willing to take the time, and possibly the expense of letting you try new things.

Maybe this year I'll fuck up.

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