Having a Life

I haven't been posting as much as I once did. Moaning about how much everything sucks hasn't been as  much of an issue as it used to be, so being here isn't as important. I like to think that now I have a life, as I suggested in my last GOALS post back nearly a year ago.

Since I make those goals, I got a job. Not one that pays enough or uses my abilities enough, but a job nonetheless. I need another job or a better job. This is fact and cannot wait another day to happen. I need it now. I don't think I've made it clear my situation on this blog, but I am very, very poor. I don't want to talk about that, which is another reason I don't post here as often as I would like. Some things, like reviewing books and movies, requires me to see or read them first, and I can't go out to do that as soon as something comes out. I think I may be the only geek left that hasn't seen The Avengers yet. I waiting to see it for free.

I haven't lost weight. I lost some when I first started work, but I regained it when my hours were cut during the off-season. I am stupidly fat, possibly the fattest I have ever been. I refuse to continue to be fat.

I want to keep writing but more importantly I want to make what I have written better so that I might be able to make a profit off of it. My way of looking at hobbies is something I would be happy spending the rest of my life doing. That's why I majored in theatre instead of business. I could write for the rest of my life and I would be happy.

So here we are:

• Get a life
• Get another (better) job
• Become fit
• Exercise
• Lose weight
• Write
• edit an already written work
• write a low budget screenplay

Long overdue GOALS post

So apparently I never recreated my GOALS post for 2011. I can see why, I've been busy living in a new state on the other side of the country that is beautiful and warm all year round and because I've been trying to steer this blog away from me just bitching. 'Cause no one wants to read that.

The previous post I made was Dec 31, 2009 for the year 2010 and here is what I wrote

But this is a traditional time to make GOALS so here it goes.
-Reach my goal weight of 175 lbs. I should be able to do this by the end of March at the earliest, by the end of the year at the latest.
-Get a job in theatre. Obvious. Perhaps I'll be less picky.
-Participate in Script Frenzy [2010]. 100 script pages in the 30 days of April. Like NaNo but with more dialogue.
-Get a home. Directly attached to the job part. Hopeful, very hopeful.

 I should also add this other one I picked up as I  passed the year.

I need to get a life.

 So that is five things on the list.

I haven't lost much weight, but at the moment I am living in my car and eating only two meals a day. If this doesn't cause me to lose weight nothing will.

I currently have a very low paying job in theatre. It's something but at this point I just want work so that I can stop worrying about money.

I did participate and win Script Frenzy in 2010. I also became an ML (local event coordinator) for 2011. I completed Nano 2010 as well. Doing this I discovered that I like writing a lot. I got terrible grades in English when I was in school which discouraged me from telling stories and I am extremely thankful to Nanowrimo for helping me get over years of pessimistic teachers. Overall I have discovered that I enjoy screenwriting better than noveling. I'm probably just more familiar with the format with my college education in theatre.

As posted above, I'm living in my car right now with all my worldly possessions. I would really like a place that I can get comfortable and stay for awhile. Sadly, you need money for that. I'm definitely working hard towards this goal.

For other GOALS I am creating, I want to write another screenplay so that I might be able to get representation. One that doesn't have a metric shit ton of required special effects, because I won't get a shit ton of effects for my first sold script.

• Get a life
• Get a job
• Get a home
• Become physically fit
• Exercise
• Lose weight
• Write more
• Write a novel in November
• Write a low budget screenplay

That makes a very pretty list doesn't it?
-X

That's kind of embaressing

And by 'that' I mean when you look at your blog and realize that you haven't updated it in a month. Nearly a month. Close enough to a month.

In this past month I have been doing 750words.com and am on a 44 day streak. That's a lot of days. I can't believe I've done it, that I was able to think of things to write or that they made sense. As it is I haven't written today and after that one terrifying attempt to blog via that site I am not trying again. Of course today I could write that much without difficulty because it's been so long since my last post.

I started to edit my Nanowrimo 2010. It's hard work and I am often bored of it. Instead I showed my Script Frenzy 2010 to my writing group and got feedback on it. They like it. They say it's marketable. It's so close to salable that I can taste it. I should be working on it more, but as usual I am distracted.

On a similar note Screnzy is rolling around again in April and I am going to be writing the sequel to my first. I always hate the people that talk about writing a sequel before they finish the first, or sell the first, or have actually contemplated the first. They do that on the forums. It's almost as annoying as complaining about not having an idea two months before the event. Now I am one of those people.

I still don't have a job. I am staying with a friend for free, which is nice but I do want to be able to at least assist with some bills after a while. I don't like taking charity. Honestly I am surprised that I am able to be her comfortably as I am.

The only thing I really need to do still is I have to lose some weight. I want to fit back into my clothes and I want to look better, but as happens when I get busy I don't pay attention to Calorie-count. Putting that website on my radar always seems to make me feel like I have too much time that could be spent elsewhere.

Anyway. I just read two books at a rapid pace and am playing a video game I shouldn't have bought and barely runs on my laptop.

In the next day or so I will be updating my GOALS because I realize I haven't. I messed with the numbers the other day but they need a post to go with them.
-X

Interesting

So the madness is still going full steam ahead, for the moment at least.

Part of the plan creates a feasible chance that this blog will become know to people, so I should check my archives to see if I insulted anyone. Sadly, this is a really big task and I feel like if I find any posts that should be removed they will be my better posts.

First off, I declare the current plan, "Plan C". The 'C' is for crazy. Secondly I see that I'm repeating myself.

Everything I have said recently I said before. I don't feel comfortable here. I feel like I'm being judged, and those doing it are very rude about it. I'm not sure what to do about it, and the possible options seem crazy. All I can say for certain is that the current situation is unhealthy for me and it needs to stop immediately.

But will my parents listen...
-X

What?

So I was just thinking that I should write a post about something, and I was like "I'll write a post about that!". So I opened Blogger and promptly forgot what I was going to write about.

Figures.

Today I placed a bunch of old paperbacks in my recycling bin. I haven't read them in ages and I don't plan on reading them again. Most were also in terrible condition and most charities don't like books. That I can recycle them is one of the things I like about our service here.

Throwing them out brought up a concern though. Should I throw more away? I think I will. I have three more boxes of books out in my garage that I haven't read in years and if I don't recycle them I doubt that anyone else will. I discovered that selling paperbacks on the internet is not worth it. You have to sell so low you can't even make back the shipping cost.

I spend a lot of money on books. I'm going to cut back. Mostly because I'm at the end of the serieses that I am reading. I'm also doing it just to cut back.

I made myself a goal, one so crazy that I'm not even writing about it on here unless it starts to get less crazy as I get closer. Part of that goal to spend the minimum amount of money on myself. Part of it came from seeing the interest capitalize on my student loans (another $800! Yay!).

Seriously, when I think about this GOAL, I begin to think I've lost my mind...

...but I don't have trouble sleeping now...
-X

I'm also a liar.

So you know how I ended the last post by saying that I would get to sleep at the right time and get up at a decent hour. That was a bunch of lies.

For some reason I have been having a terrible time getting to sleep. I might be thinking to much when I'm trying to fall asleep. Instead of normal fantasies, I now seem to require a beginning, a middle, and an end. The good part is in the middle and I draw out the end forever. Guess there is a downside to NaNo.

Today, after I finally woke up, I got this idea that I should start playing with my camera more often. I think this a lot. I got the idea by watching Shane Dawson TV last night instead of sleeping and thinking that any idiot with a camera could do that. Difficulty - I'm not anywhere as good looking as Shane Dawson (who I should mention is one of the people younger than me who are much more successful). Also that fucks with the anonymous dealie that I'm working with.

So that is delayed until I lose fifty pounds and regrow my hair. Which might actually happen one day.

Until then I'm going to try working on pseudo-public speaking. Maybe I'll podcast. some of the cool kids are doing that, right? If nothing else I want to get use to hearing my own voice. Just messing around today I felt like I need to speak more so that I start speaking clearly.

I rarely talk. If you let me start, I never shut up, but it's actually fairly rare that I start talking in the first place. And that inability to continue speaking for more than two minutes is the reason I will never win American Idol.

I would normally say that I'd never actually do this, but I also never thought I would blog for a year, or write a novel, or write a script, or...

No, that's it.
-X

I need to get a life

I need to get a life.

Since I completed NaNoWriMo I've gotten in to the habit of trying to write fiction. It's kind of the idea of the program. It really makes me realize that I have no life.

They always say "write about what you know" and most authors get around that. Most of the stories I look for are fantasy based because I get to make the rules. The one book I read on the subject pointed out that you need to keep to certain concepts, like if it isn't a Star Trek book don't talk about warp speed, but kept an open mind for the most part. You can study something or read about something to make it believable enough for the average reader. Some people will be mad at you if you get everything right, but you shouldn't worry about them. My point is that reading up on something, or watching something isn't as good as actually experiencing it. Whenever I actually experience life I think about how once considered writing about a similar event and I realize that I would have gotten it all wrong.

In November I went to an IFD show at a bar in Baltimore, MD. I don't go to bars that often. Maybe three or four since I've been able to drink. I don't drink that much, thought if I did I would do it at a bar. Anyway, each of these bars were completely different. They all had the same concept, sell drinks and entertain people, but one was focused on just drinks and cheap food, but the one in Baltimore had a decent stage and a very odd balcony area too. The one in my college town seemed more aimed to the locals instead of the students, or maybe just the alcoholic students. Each time I entered I felt like I knew what to expect and each time I was proven wrong. The one in Baltimore had a great stage, but the sound was messed up, not in the "you're seeing a show way" in a "fire your sound engineer". I wouldn't have thought about that when writing. The one I was at in Charlottesville, VA was simply too small for the number of people there. I don't think of that when a book says crowded, I think busy, not standing room only.

When I watch Dollhouse and they get into the nonsense about brains, half of which is made up, I just think about how much they do know. I can't list off all of the parts of the brain. First aid for a bullet wound? Don't know it. A Broadway show, a Bon Jovi concert, snowboarding, ice skating, operating a motorcycle, I haven't done any of that. Even a couple of weeks ago when I got stuck in the blizzard, a guy towing me out of a snow bank asked me if I knew how to drive in snow... nope, the last time we had that much snow I was eight. But the thing is I thought I could drive in snow. I had never had a problem with it before.

So I'm adding a new GOAL - Get a life. And I'm adding a bunch of stuff to my extended goal list

GOALS for a New Year (2010)

Image by asterix611 via Flickr- do you know how stupid hard it is to find a picture of the Times Square Ball???

I looked at my GOALS from several months ago and realized that I had in some ways accomplished most of them.

Having a job has allowed me to loose some weight, if not as much as I would have liked by now. I won a copy of Guitar Hero for Xbox that I had no use for and sold it on eBay so I finished that GOAL in a very random manner. My portfolio is 90% set up and I won National Novel Writing Month on my first try, which not everyone is able to do. Downside is that I'm bored with Illuminated University for the moment now and am not sure if I wil be editing my National Novel.

But this is a traditional time to make GOALS so here it goes.
-Reach my goal weight of 175 lbs. I should be able to do this by the end of March at the earliest, by the end of the year at the latest.
-Get a job in theatre. Obvious. Perhaps I'll be less picky.
-Participate in Script Frenzy. 100 script pages in the 30 days of April. Like NaNo but with more dialogue.
-Get a home. Directly attached to the job part. Hopeful, very hopeful.

I rechecked this a couple weeks after first writing it and I can't add anything to it, though expect a "how I intend to do it" post in a couple of days.
-X

Distraction

As always happens in October I have gotten the urge to watch horror movies. Unlike every past October, I do not have other things to do to prevent me from watching more than just a few horror movies.

Okay, I really do have more important things to do, but given the choice of looking for a job, watching House of 1000 Corpses, practicing writing for NaNoWriMo, catching up on episodes of Sanctuary, reading Dracula, exercising, keeping my room organized, well you get the idea.

Outside of all of that I've made almost no progress on writing any of my stories and have been terrible on updating Illuminated University. Funnily enough I was reading the NaNoWriMo book and it says never stop work on a draft for more than two days in a row because you will lose track of the story, start reworking the story. I've already done that to IU before, so once I have the time for it I "should" be fine.

I'm actually very well planned out for NaNoWriMo, in fact I'm starting to get worried that I may be too prepared for it. They warn that too much preparation causes you to be bored with the story and unable to write it. Alfred Hitchcock apparently had that problem with everything he did. He hated filming his movies because he already knew exactly what they were going to be like, as if he had watched them a dozen times and could stand them anymore.

I'm going to move my GOAL for eBay back a month. I haven't been around to place anything on the site but I should be able to run with it again.

Now I think I'm going to sleep and get up early to work on some of the stuff I want to do.

-X

Positive outlook

So, now that that is out of the way.

Now that it has been said I can move on and go on to bigger better things. Today I'm declaring GOALS. Hopefully they will last longer than my other goals.

GOAL - Get to 215 lb by Halloween (just in time to regain it :P)
GOAL - Sell more on eBay, make a profit for the month of October
GOAL - Set up my online Portfolio
GOAL - Write one entire chapter of my story

Starting tomorrow I will not make anymore sweets (I have some in the oven right now). Tonight I'll add things to eBay and I'll try to design myself a logo.

I can do this! Yeah!
-X