I'm getting depressed.

I still haven't heard back from that theatre and every day it becomes less likely that they will call me for an interview. I don't really know why. I admit I'm not the best at what I do, but you're not going to get the best for most of these jobs.

I'm thinking back to my previous post and really wishing that I could get my chance. I want to fuck up. I'm so tired of being unemployed, and it's getting to the point where I might not be able to find part-time work. Did you know that unemployment is actually nearing Great Depression era levels? Not the number you hear on the news, the real number, which is calculated differently. Like whether or not you count part-time workers.

My student loans can be deferred as long as my employment isn't full-time. That's defined as 30 hours a week, for three months. Most jobs won't offer you that immediately. I remember in December how my paychecks kept being so low, it felt like all of my work was for nothing, but what it really was, was that my schedule was screwed up a couple of times. I got one "full" paycheck. It was awesome to have some money. I'm almost out of it.

The first thing I spent it on was Christmas presents. Yeah, I only had money coming in for that month, and I bought presents for people. I'm silly like that. I'm looking at my online banking right now, and 20% of my expenses this month is my $10 donation to Screnzy. I'm overly generous.

So as I type this I'm trying to put together a traditional resume. I don't like traditional resumes because theatre experience doesn't translate well into it. I have a decent theatre resume (available upon request) that fills a page out nicely, but you can't really count everything separately on a traditional resume. I was having a discussion with my aunt and uncle about this last year. They didn't believe me when I said how you format a theatre resume.

You don't have an objective on a theatre resume. You don't have a summary. I was looking for examples last year after that discussion and my favorite was one that listed at least one hundred shows in size 8 font and had the USA829 stamp on it, because that was it needed. It said "I've done many shows and I'm in the union. I'm qualified". I have to be a bit more specific, but all theatre resumes follow that tone.

I'm just so tired of worrying about if I can find a job. It saps my strength and it ruins my enjoyment of other things.

My eyes hurt. I should sleep.

Are they allergies?

Or tears...