Six thousand behind

As of right now I am just a little over six thousand words behind on my NaNoWriMo novel.

I'm not in the mood to write right now. I'm on a rather gory chapter and while I love reading gory chapters, writing them is quite a different thing. Every time I write a sentence I feel less like I want to someday publish it and more like I should be institutionalized. Much like the opening line in Castle "There are two kinds of folks who sit around thinking about how to kill people - psychopaths and mystery writers.". Yeah, that's not the only reason, but it is a major one.

As I'm unable to get myself to write I keep doing everything else. I've read, I've watched Hulu, I've even drawn. I once again have the feeling that I cannot be myself here, mostly because I lacking a desk. I have nowhere to work on anything from drawing to writing, even looking for jobs is uncomforable without being at a desk. I you haven't realized I have a laptop, yet I prefer to use it at a table of some sort. Instead I'm delegated to lying in my bed (not good for my wrist) or on the storage tote I put half of my clothes in, which is about level with my bed so it is a little awkward to use. I tried to sit on my bed like a chair, but it is a little saggy, which is even irritating me for sleep purposes.

You know what I think it's time for? The "I Need a Job" song!
-X

Painful Decisions

Once again I am contemplating my plan(s).

I don't know what to do.

I want to move but I have no money. I don't even care what job I get when I get their. I would just be able to function.

• I don't want to hear my mother rant about how someone has pissed her off again.
• I would like to be able to sit downstairs without breathing cigarette smoke
• and be able to leave the door to my room open with it smelling like smoke.
• I would like to be able to do anything without my parents making a big deal about it 
• which hasn't really been a problem
• then again, I've been locking myself in my room to prevent this
• I would like not to be judged whenever I do anything or say anything
• I would like to be myself.

What am I to do?

-X

The search for fiber

I have discovered that I do not eat enough fiber.

Okay, that was like the pot calling the kettle 'black'. I knew that I was not getting enough as I don't really eat fruit and rarely eat vegetables. I never thought of myself as being constipated, but well, apparently I have been.

Anyway, I decided to find some fiber-y foods that don't suck. My first plan was pyllium husk, which is a pill of fiber - that's really how I roll, but I guess it is only at health nut stores or possibly in powder that you add to water (which definitely ain't how I roll), and well I couldn't find it and didn't get it.

So then I was wandering around the pseudo-Super Walmart (it's being reconfigured and they don't have meat or produce yet) looking for things that I had heard were high in fiber. Most of the things I glanced at were fairly bad, 1g in most thing and in many even less.

Finally I get back home and check on CalorieCount.com and find that fruits will be my best bet. Of course I can't eat anything because I trying to lose weight and I know have to figure out how to add in a lot of fruit into my diet. Maybe the fiber will help clean me out.

On the healthy type movement note, I half raked the yard today. My father wants me to mow this week and I don't want to be pausing every five minutes to empty a bag of leaves. I really hate the number of leaves this house gets.

Now, to exercise or write?
-X

That's a lot of words

So I already decided that I would participate in National Novel Writing Month aka NaNoWriMo, wherein I will have to write 50,000 words during the month of November. That's 1,667 words a day, every day for thirty days.

I wasn't worried about this, until I glanced at my draft for Storms of Chaos. I checked it and the two half-complete chapters I wrote together make about 1,700 words. I suddenly remember that in the early days of this blog I had trouble writing 200 words. (Still have trouble with 200 words, this post is about 100)

What was I thinking?

Meanwhile I haven't done anything on this site, less on Illuminated University.I'm really just worried that my outline won't last long enough, otherwise I think I can make it.
-X

Now that is a boost

I've recently gotten a boost in pageviews. Not from any real content but because I used the term "Plan B" in a post way back. Google thinks that I was talking about Plan B contraceptives aka the morning after pill.

I don't mind that much. It makes me feel very popular. Maybe I'll actually start having people read this dealie. By people, I mean women who forgot their pill last week or used a cheap condom, but I can't complain.

Well, it is late. Perhaps tomorrow I'll write a real entry that doesn't insult my potential readers.
-X