Los Angeles

I am in Los Angeles now. I drove the entire way.
Not much to say about that. It was surprisingly peaceful and there was good scenery when I had the chance to look. My car attempted to spill oil the entire way and it hated the Rocky Mountains.
Now I'm trying to learn my way around the city and figure out where to live and work. I rested the first day and a half I was here. Technically writing this is "resting" too, I just felt like I needed to write another post. No one likes a dead blog.
And since I haven't said it yet, I really like this area. I like the weather, I like the neighborhoods, I like the people. It just seems like everything about it better than I could have hoped.
-X

Crazy Plan revealed

So I mentioned a couple times that I've lost my mind and was going to do something completely insane. Well here it is.

In less than a month I'm going to move out of my parent's house and move to Los Angeles, California. I do not have a job lined up, I have almost no money, and I have no where to live when I get there. I'm going by car, driving for five days straight, cross-country with whatever I can fit into said vehicle.

This might sound like an idea I had about a year ago. The difference between now and then is I have less money and I am going to do it. Read my last several posts if you want to know why. I have not gotten a full-time job in over a year mostly because I want a job in my field, the field I spent $24,000 getting a degree in. Los Angeles has more jobs in my field than any other city short of maybe Chicago and New York and most importantly it will be a change of pace and will be something for me to look forward to and force me to get some kind of job immediately.

One of the major reason I'm moving to Los Angeles is that I expect to be able to work a normal job and do some theatre on the side if I need to. I can't do that here.

Anyway, I'm seriously considering doing video blogs of my trip. More on that soon.
-X

Interesting

So the madness is still going full steam ahead, for the moment at least.

Part of the plan creates a feasible chance that this blog will become know to people, so I should check my archives to see if I insulted anyone. Sadly, this is a really big task and I feel like if I find any posts that should be removed they will be my better posts.

First off, I declare the current plan, "Plan C". The 'C' is for crazy. Secondly I see that I'm repeating myself.

Everything I have said recently I said before. I don't feel comfortable here. I feel like I'm being judged, and those doing it are very rude about it. I'm not sure what to do about it, and the possible options seem crazy. All I can say for certain is that the current situation is unhealthy for me and it needs to stop immediately.

But will my parents listen...
-X

Still crazy

I mentioned a crazy plan the other day. It's still too crazy to talk about, but I'm becoming more comfortable about it. I call it a "crazy plan" because, well, no one in their right mind would even think of doing it. The thing is that it's a decision I can make. The more I think about it the more I realize that I have to make this decision.

I can't remember the last time I've made a decision. I make little ones, like what I'm going to eat, but even those are under pressure right now. That's part of the crazy - this isn't a little decision, this will change the course of my life.

If you have read any of my posts, you know that I know care much for my current life. It needs a course change. Some people forget that on the road of life you are the driver and you can always change course. Right now I know exactly where I'm headed, and many people would just live with it and say that's how things have to be.

I can't. I honestly can't. I've been stressing out so much about how I can't get a job I was having trouble sleeping. Now that's I've resolved to make this decision I'm... serene. I have a purpose.

You don't know how amazing it feels to wake up in the morning and have something to do, something that doesn't involve staring at your computer hoping that it's going to tell you that the perfect job is available to reject you.

When you've been unemployed as long as I have been you have trouble getting to sleep, then can't wake up. You feel guilty because you are failing at a simple task in life. You can't remember the days of the week and each time a Friday comes around you look back and realize that you did nothing last week. Okay, you sent out that one resume, that no one will look at, that no one will consider. You tell yourself that you need to check the boards again, because it's Friday and you haven't checked since Tuesday. One new posting. You don't qualify, It's not even in your area of interest really, but you wish you could apply, just to make you feel better. You check other job boards, ones that rarely have updates. They don't have anything either. You Google search and you've clicked all of the links already. You try again with the same result.

Then you cry yourself to sleep, if you're lucky. If you aren't you start to look at your future and where it's headed, a dead end. You can't get to sleep and you start to think "I would do anything just to be able to sleep" and if you're lucky, you scare yourself and you change your course. Veer around and turn in the middle of the road. It doesn't matter if you disturb others - this is about you. This is about the cliff you're dangerously near, it's about the dead end you see in sight.

I'm desperate. I have to do this.
-X